Single mom plans girls' night out, gets judged for bailing when she decides she would prefer to spend money on her 5-year-old and 8-month-old: 'The stress has been overwhelming'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 16, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

Every parent needs a break sometimes.

To be a primary caregiver to children, especially young ones, is a physically and emotionally exhausting job, even when parents have all the support in the world available. Doing it alone is another level of struggle. It is easy to become totally consumed by the needs and wants of the kids and forget that you have some of your own as well.

As a result, many parents will jump at the chance to do some socializing that is focused on them. It gives their brain the reset it needs to keep them in a happier frame of mind. The only issue is that these opportunities often don't come around that often, and they can be stressful to organize when they do. There is a lot to keep in mind.

Ultimately, one of the sacrifices of parenthood is that if something that is enjoyable for the parent is going to have a negative impact on the kids, it should not go ahead. It's frustrating, but it is part of the responsibility you have when you choose to bring life into the world. Not everyone is going to understand it, but that doesn't mean that it is any less necessary. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • A mom holds her infant child in the park during fall
    via Helena Lopes

    A mom holds her infant child in the park during fall

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In this story, a single mom had been looking forward to a night out with friends that had been planned a month in advance. She bought a ticket for it early, assuming her financial situation would still allow her to go when the time came.

    This turned out not to be the case, as she had some pending bills that urgently needed to be paid. She decided that selling her ticket to support the basic needs of her and her kids was the better option.

    She was upset that her friends did not seem to be understanding of this, telling her that she needed to get child support. She wanted to know if she was in the wrong.

  • Am I wrong for backing out after realizing I’d rather spend the money on my kids?

    I (30F) am a single mother of two young children, my son (5) and my daughter (8 months). About a month. ago, some friends and I planned a girls night out, I was excited because it is just my kids and I. I agreed and bought my own ticket in advance because I
    via Icy_hunter_x0
  • genuinely wanted a night to feel like myself again outside of motherhood. At the time, I thought I'd be financially okay by the time the event came around.
    via Icy_hunter_x0
  • Well, now the event is three days away, and things are not going the way I expected financially. Even though I already have the ticket, I realized I need every extra dollar I have for bills, bus tickets (because I don't have a car), and keeping things stable for my kids. today I got hit with a shutoff notice for my electric bill, and the stress of trying to make everything stretch has been overwhelming.
    via Icy_hunter_x0
  • The issue is that some of my friends are frustrated because technically I already committed, so to them it seems like I'm backing out last minute. But for me, it's not just about the ticket itself. Going still means spending money on bus tickets, food, and childcare, and honestly putting myself in a worse financial position afterward. When I can just sell the ticket and put someone towards my bill which still won't help.
    via Icy_hunter_x0
  • What's bothering me is the attitude I got afterward. A couple of them acted irritated like I ruined some huge investment for everyone, even though nobody paid for my ticket or expenses but me. One friend even told me that if money is this bad, I "need to put my children's father on child support
    via Icy_hunter_x0
  • already instead of struggling like this." That comment honestly rubbed me the wrong way because it felt judgmental and dismissive of how complicated my situation is. I understand people get annoyed when someone cancels plans, especially plans made a month in
    via Icy_hunter_x0
  • advance, and I do feel guilty because I was genuinely excited to go. But at the same time, I feel like choosing stability for my kids over one night out is the responsible thing to do. AITA for backing out even though the plans were made a month ago ?
    via Icy_hunter_x0
  • Four women smile and dance with gold confetti falling around them
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Four women smile and dance with gold confetti falling around them

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • mcindy28 NTA if you can't afford it.. but also your friend is NOT wrong... the father needs to be paying support if he's working, he is responsible or should be responsible for them as well.
    via mcindy28
  • Free-Place-3930 Nta. You have to do what's smartest for your life. Why isn't their father on child support?
    via Free-Place-3930
  • lifeisfascinatingly_ Sell the ticket.
    via lifeisfascinatingly_
  • meltonmike1 please answer everyone's question. don't be a martyr about child support. It's ALWAYS complicated, but those kids need the financial support. I know this doesn't address your actual question, but it is the snippet that most here are glomming on to. And apparently your friend group also.
    via meltonmike1
  • If you are getting shut off notices, please reevaluate your situation. A lot of us on here have been in the same situation. You are doing yourself, and your kids, no favors struggling this badly. Good luck to you. And no, don't feel badly about selling what is apparently an expensive ticket. There will be other outings.
    via meltonmike1
  • CakeZealousideal 1820 I mean why would you buy the ticket if you're not paying your bills. A shut off notice doesn't just come without warning. Why isn't the father on child support? You're making terrible decisions all around. YTA
    via CakeZealousideal1820
  • ToothSufficient7763 Nta. But you really should have a baseline budget number when you make plans. If you don't have $400 in savings, you probably shouldn't commit to plans.
    via ToothSufficient7763
  • InsertCleverName652 YNTA, but you need a budgeting app or something because you should have never bought the ticket in the first place because you were behind on your bills. when you bought it.
    via InsertCleverName652
  • Tell your friends, "You know I really wanted to go, I want to have some fun for once, but I realize I should never have bought the ticket. I need to sell it for the money. Hopefully I can get my situation worked out and go another time."
    via InsertCleverName652
  • Real friends will get over it. Meanwhile, work on your budget and getting that baby daddy's check garnished for child support.
    via InsertCleverName652
  • Important-Round-9098 NTA. Backing out for finances is a good reason. I hope you can sell the ticket. You maybe TA if you aren't getting child support from the father of your children.
    via Important-Round-9098
  • Bubbly_Following7930 nta you need to do what's best for your family. It's one thing to be disappointed but they're overreacting.
    via Bubbly_Following7930

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

friendship kids cancelled friends parenting bills mom money budget
Scroll Down For The Next Article